Retirement

The word sounds fun and exciting.  Actually, it is the sounding of an alarm that your life is drastically changing.  It’s a time when for many, such as myself, it becomes too difficult to work as we have in the past.  It’s a time when age is recognized by society and government and it becomes acceptable to finally slow down.

I was an elementary school teacher.  I have a hearing impairment.  Teaching and the young lives that I was privileged to share in were very precious to me.  Because of my age and hearing challenges, each day was becoming harder and harder.  I would come home in the evening emotionally and physically exhausted.  Each day would begin with me thinking I couldn’t go on.

So, when given the choice to continue another year or stop, contemplating what the cost would be, reducing my income to a third of what I was making, I decided to make huge life changes that would enable me to stop working.  They were not easy.   In fact, as I write this my husband and I are just weeks into this process.  We moved to a community out of state that was less expensive to live in.  There are relatives there, some older than us, that can help us navigate this new season of life.

Once I get settled into the day-to-day life of retirement I suspect I will begin to examine my purpose and value.  This is another reality of retirement.  We will no longer be experiencing the satisfaction of work and the rewards of our careers.  I already feel a void that I don’t know how to identify.

I sit here at this chair at our campsite and gaze into the trees.  I have been watching a chipmunk play within a few feet of me.  He looks curious as to who I am or perhaps is hoping for a scrap of food to drop to the ground.  I am amazed at how he (or she) can jump two feet to the top of a nearby log.

The world around me, the bigger picture, is changing faster than I am.  Wars, rumors of wars, famines, disease, morality in rapid decline, and technology advancing faster than I can keep up with.  Social media has become our community and the family is no longer as valued as it was even just a few years ago.

Where do I go from here?  I don’t know.  Perhaps the best thing I can do is accept this place called retirement.  With it comes the choice to let go of the things I can’t change, as if I thought I could before.  I chose instead to make the most of every day.   Believing there is a lot more good in life than not is a choice.  Holding on to the values that have taken a lifetime to develop, and sharing them with those who care to hear, will not change.  And I suspect this is the beginning of where I will find my place and purpose in this new season of life, which we call retirement.

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