This post is an update of recent events that have put me on a different path. To begin, as stated in my last post, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 High Grade Clear Cell Uterine Cancer September 25th. It was surgically removed but because of the type of cancer, I still have decisions to make on treatment. Maybe, it will be more than just living a healthy lifestyle.
As stated in a previous post, late this summer I had a dream of two small tornadoes coming toward me and another very large storm that filled the horizon. I believe the Lord in his kindness was warning me of the cancer and what is to follow, as well as the battle of the nations and civilizations that is sending ripples around the world. I began to pray back then and have had peace throughout this entire season.
That being said, I still have to guard my heart. I can’t dwell on news or spend my time searching the internet to learn more about the disease that grew in my body. I need to focus on the beautiful and wonderful things in my world, for even in my hardest of days I choose to see the kindness of God. Choosing to see the good in all circumstances and every person in my life is a choice.
However, I have needed a schedule to help me through this time. Therefore, I have gone back to work. I am still subbing but doing so mostly from home now with an online school full time. Working keeps my mind busy and the extra money gives me freedom to do more, give more, and play more. 🙂
Another change I am making, is taking time to reach out to the people I love and miss whenever I am feeling a little lonely. I’m picking up the phone more spontaneously and calling, texting, and emailing instead of waiting for just the right time. I tend to not want to “bother” people. Not sure why I feel that way, but I don’t want to entertain those thoughts anymore. I can’t feel isolated right now.
I don’t know what the future holds, both for me and the world we live in. Images of war and rage and our divided country threaten to rob me of the peace needed to heal. I can’t fix the world by being sad about it. I can pray though to see through the lens of Biblical prophecy. If all this is happening just as the prophets spoke three thousand years ago, then the end of the book will happen too. Someday, there will be a new heaven and a new earth, with no more tears and no more pain. And, I have no fear of death, for I know that I know, that I will join those that have gone before me to a place with indescribable beauty and peace!
Meanwhile, I will notice the sun shining through the window as it creates rainbows of light across the room. I will make eye contact with the child in the shopping cart that smiles when I walk by. I will pet the dog! I will breathe in the beauty of the seasons! I will hold the hug just a little longer. I will fill my world with music! I will choose to see the kindness of God in the land of the living every single day.
